How come she feels so washed up at such a tender age?

31 JUL 2004 - 4.28p
No GBV on NYE for me. I cried a little, was almost late for my interview. Keeping fingers crossed that tickets appear on eBay or something. And that I won't have to pay an arm and a leg for them.

In other news, looks like we have a couple of extra tickets for the second to last show, also at the Metro in Chicago. I honestly can't imagine going to it if I won't be at the very last show... so if anybody wants tickets which I'm sure is highly unlikely since I pretty much know everybody who reads this, let me know.

Probably going to Thursdays tonight. I want to get wasted but I have zero cash until tomorrow.

Oh yeah, I got a job. Looks like I'll be seeing Dale at work. Funny. Training starts Tuesday night... which means I'll be late for Modest Mouse. But oh well... it's been a miserable year... and I'm just moping... but it might as well end miserably. Very fitting.

31 JUL 2004 - 11.28a
Hooray! It is the final day of July!

Went to a party at the Hessler house last night with Paul. We didn't really know very many people there. Talked to Courtney and Erin. And Cool Dave and Bridget. Went home fairly early because I have an interview today and Paul was very conscientious of the time. I must be fresh for my interview! I felt very old at the party.

Thursdays tonight. Possibly. It sounded okay last night, in theory. Today is my last day with Laura's horses... thank god. They exhaust me and make me tired of horses. What I do tonight will all depend on how tired I am.

I did ride Newt a bit yesterday and he seemed fairly sound! Yay!

GBV NYE tickets on sale today! Yay!

I think I will call David and bother him.

30 JUL 2004 - 8.01a
I think my tattoo is two years old now! I don't remember the date, but I know it was way at the end of July... I guess I could look back, but it doesn't matter. I've had my tattoo for two years. Funny.

Now that the horses are all back where they belong, I've been able to rest a bit. Sort of. I'm sure that after today, things will go back to being normal. I'm going to hop on Newt today to see how he's doing. Hopefully he's healed and all of that.

I finished scarf number three yesterday. It's nice... VERY long. I plan on learning more skills from my book before I start another project. I'm also out of yarn, except whatever little bits are left over from the first two scarves. I have more than enough to practice some stuff from the book. Maybe yarn shopping next week!

GBV NYE tickets on sale tomorrow! This week went by quickly.

I think I will get the horses out of the way so I can nap this afternoon.

I can power a small city with my whining.

29 JUL 2004 - 8.49a
I shouldn't have been so quick to curse Dale for scoring an interview AND a job at Dillard's. They called me yesterday and left a voicemail. Too funny. Dale is back to being my favorite.

Last night, we made a very brief appearance at ye olde 80's night at the Phantasy before heading to the 5 O'Clock (karaoke night). Dale and I almost made Paul sing "Add it Up" by the Violent Femmes since he butchered it so badly... but he ended up singing "I will follow" by U2 for me. He intentionally sang the chorus wrong... when I was little, I used to think it went, "When your underwear runs away, underwear runs away, I will follow..." I laughed.

My best healing thoughts go out to Lacey. Dearest Lacey, why are you always sick? Love, Meghan.

27 JUL 2004 - 2.07p
YAWN. So tired. Can't wait for all the horses to be where they belong. Too much work. Tired.

Of course, it probably doesn't help that I stayed out late last night. Hung out at Paul's. Got coffee (god bless things that taste like chocolate and raspberry at the same time) and did quite a bit of knitting. I was happy to see Road Trip Dale (despite his getting an interview at Dillard's... damn him!) and Larry and Courtney. Especially nice seeing Courtney because then I was no longer the only girl. I added about twelve inches to my current scarf project while Courtney and the boys played poker.

Just a few minutes ago, the ex admitted to verbally abusing me. It was like angels were singing. I swear, the sun peeked out for just a moment on this rainy, rainy day.

26 JUL 2004 - 3.09p
I had a fantastic weekend. I wrote a bit about the best day Lacey and I have ever had in my previous entry... but the jeans were only the start of it. Lacey and I had such a good lunch (despite a lousy waiter) and shopping was oh so fun. It was at some point during shopping that I decided to join her at the Grop Shop to see some rockabilly bands. Not my cup of tea, but I love a good time with my friends...

And it was a good time, indeed. I had a beer or two and was introduced to an ex-thing (let me emphasize the THING) of Paul H's as his fiance. It cracked me up.

Lacey and I drove home with "Easy Lover" on repeat which was was the perfect end to the evening.

Saturday was uneventful. I caught up on some much needed rest. I also did the usual with the horses... Newt is still trading spaces with the Luce... so my work load has doubled. Hopefully they will trade back this Wednesday... and hopefully Newt's injury is better.

I've had lots of time to knit while wasting time at Timberlane as Lucy grazes. Scarf number three is almost done and I've decided that it's going to be a gift for Becky. I don't know if she wears scarves and if she doesn't, she will start when she gets this one. I couldn't figure out who would be the one to get it when I started it... and it dawned on me yesterday. It is perfect for Becky.

Last night, I went out for coffee with Paul. It was a good time... good conversation. We made fun of Franz Ferdinand the whole way to Luna's and the whole way back... because, of course, I am not a fan nor am I a member of their fan club.

Today started off a bit on the shakey side... though I think it has righted itself. There are things I'm not really ready to talk about yet on my blog... just because in the back of my head, I'm still feeling the need to censor myself. In case you didn't know, my lack of writing anything the last couple of months (probably longer than that) has nothing to do with me not wanting to write stuff so much as it has to do with me being afraid to write stuff. Baby steps, though. I already feel ten times better.

23 JUL 2004 - 6.13p
I just had the best afternoon with Lacey. We both bought jeans from the Gap and each pair was a SIZE SMALLER THAN WE EACH USUALLY WEAR!! It's not some defect in their sizing. We know this for sure. It's because we're hot mamas.

HOT MAMAS. Either that, or we're hot pieces of young meat. Although I don't believe I qualify as young meat anymore. Lacey might.

Only one person I know will understand the above paragraph. And it isn't Lacey. I'm sorry, Lacey.

Oh lord. I've got more stuff to do!

Married John S? Do you still read my blog?

23 JUL 2004 - 8.05a
Last year, I nearly gave myself a heart attack worrying about Radiohead tickets. This year, it's going to be over GBV tickets. The only other person that I know for sure understands what I'm going through is David. He deserves an Academy Award for all of the drama surrounding Pixies tickets over the spring.

I had a minor heart attack yesterday when I found out GBV tickets for the last (duh) Cleveland show were selling REALLY, REALLY fast. I didn't even know they were on sale!! Thanks to the simultaneous lightning fast skills of both David and Lacey, I secured two tickets. My friends are the best and I love them.

So... now all I have to worry about is the rest of the tour that I want to go to... and most the important are the two last shows at the Metro in Chicago on New Year's Eve Eve and New Year's Eve.

I'm going to have ulcers when this is all over. I swear.

In other news, Newt gashed his head at some point during the night. When I went out to feed this morning, I saw that there's a flap of skin that's kind of peeled back on the center of his face... it could probably use a stitch or a staple or something... but I cleaned it up the best I could and patted the little flap of skin back to where it belongs... and it looks like he's going to live. He'll probably just have another little scar on his face.

My allergies are terrible.

22 JUL 2004 - 7.42a
I am so tired! I want to take a nap today more than anything. Must allow myself time to do that.

Last night I hung out with Paul H. We went out for ice cream, then out for a beer, then back to Paulie's to watch Modest Mouse on Conan. It was a lovely, quiet evening.

Modest Mouse was decent. Actually, better than decent. It's just so weird how many people are in the band now (if nothing other than for live performance purposes!). Pretty soon they're going to have to hire a million dancers and they'll have some crazy stage show with lights and lasers and Isaac will have to declare bankruptcy like MC Hammer. "Float On" is going to be their "U Can't Touch This."

Looks like rain today! It's going to be a miserable day if it does. Blah.

21 JUL 2004 - 12.30p
I'm filthy and sweaty and I've been this way for a few days.

Newt went to the vet on Sunday. The whole visit was lacking drama... it turns out that he sprained a suspensory ligament in his left hind leg. Since he'd already had a week off when I took him to the vet, he wasn't quite as lame as he was when it first happened. The vet wasn't terribly concerned and neither am I. The prognosis is good... Newt has to have his leg cold hosed/iced a few times a day and he's mostly confined to his stall to rest. I brought him home right after the vet visit (my vet is 10 minutes away!) and he's hanging out here for the duration of his lay-up.

I took Lucy to the barn where Newt is boarded to occupy his stall for a bit. It's the equine version of Trading Spaces. She's just hanging out there with the big horses and it will be good to wean her from Henry and Grandpa. She's such a good filly... she's handling it all much better than Newt is handling being here.

The first night that Newt was here, he was carrying on ALL NIGHT. I got up twice... once at two and once at four because he was so loud... screaming and banging. He's settling in somewhat now... he still talks all the time, but I guess that's just kind of the way that he is. Yesterday he was so brave that he ventured out into the pasture all by himself. He did the same this morning and stayed out in the pasture with the other boys for two hours. Normally, he can't lose sight of me when he's turned out or else he flips out. I'm so proud of him.

Otherwise, things are okay. I sent out a few resumes yesterday (some of the first in a couple of weeks!). Nothing exciting, though. I'm really looking forward to Modest Mouse! I'm pretty sure they're going to be on Conan tonight... so be sure to watch if you're up late. Ummm... I think that's about it.

I'd like to give a shout out to my homeboy Paul "Pizza Key" Huttner. Thank you for being my pen pal over the phone and thank you for sounding angry during appropriate times.

JUST ADDED! 12.53p
The boys at home...

Newt is the big one. Henry is the wee one and Grandpa's ass is in the background.

Newtie and Grandpa.

17 JUL 2004 - 11.34a
I'm never going to finish part II of the wedding story. It's already been a week so I guess it's not a big deal.

Went to the party for Courtney and Bridget last night. Stayed there very late and now I am exhausted... today is going to be a lazy, napping kind of day. The party was excellent except for certain parts (when I started crying like a goon and then later when poor Courtney started crying... although her crying was probably a little more justified than my own)... there was a fire, I wore a boa, and broken glass is not funny. I could write more but I've been feeling really lame about my writing lately.

GBV announced their final tour dates. A sad year for Meghan indeed.

12 JUL 2004 - 11.41p
Yay, me. I had a good weekend... it was fun to get away even if it was only to suburban Detroit for less than 24 hours.

David arrived early Thursday evening. We had some pretty soggy pizza and hung out a bit. Friday morning, David woke up earlier than he probably ever has. He watched me clean stalls and then he let me use his Target discount (which I think was fifty cents off of my five dollar purchase). We drove to Detroit. Actually he drove to Detroit. I knitted. We listened to the Ponys.

Once in Detroit, we went to a wedding. I have often boasted that I'm a fantastic wedding date. I look cute and I have good dresses and I can be chatty in most company... especially if there is an open bar. And oh boy! There was an open bar! I drank many champagne glasses of wine and I began to get really stupid. I don't think I was embarrassing or anything... but the rest of the night is kind of hazy. I'm only repeating what I've been told.

We left the reception and went to a gas station because the CR-V was empty. Apparently I was distressed because the gas station was in the opposite direction that we came from. Maybe I didn't want David to get lost... I don't know. I peed at the gas station, but I was very wishy washy about whether or not I should. We hit the road for the hotel (in the right direction!) and a few minutes later I mentioned that I might want to throw up. I didn't want to inconvenience David, though, so I suggested he find a nice rest area and stop there. David pulled over on the side of the highway. I got out of the car and was a bit confused about where the rest area was. David told me that the side of the highway was my rest area. I bitched about having to throw up in the weeds! But he told me I had to. So I did. And I guess I threw up back at the hotel, too, and then I passed out.

The next morning I woke up slightly hungover... but that was easily remedied by some gingie (ginger ale, duh!) and some advil AND a trip to Meijer. We don't have the Meijer stores where I live and I haven't been to one since I was living in Findlay. We were in search of the spinach dip Amy and I had after Belle and Sebastian so long ago... I think of it often when I pass Meijers on road trips... and they didn't have it!! We searched high and low and had to settle for some organic onion and dill bread instead. It was still warm and was a nice snack to have as we drove back to Ohio.

We didn't do much on Saturday... sat around and watched all of my favorite tv shows. Then we went to some bar and ate before heading to the Grog to meet Lacey, etc. I'm tired of typing so I'll write about that tomorrow.

07 JUL 2004 - 9.12a
I started my second scarf yesterday. It's knitting SO much faster than the first. I'm using a chunky yarn and not switching off colors so that probably has a lot to do with it. I'm excited that I know TWO stitches (knit and purl!) and that I'm using them both for this scarf. I'll probably end up keeping this one... I think it will be done in another couple of days.

I wish I was going to see John Kerry today downtown... but I have nobody to go with. Boo.

Boo! I was mistaken in thinking I had anything to say today. I swear, this won't become a knitting blog!!

04 JULY 2004 - 7.31a
It's been a while. Not much to report. I finished a pretty sweet scarf... I ended up making it extra long and I'm really happy about that.

It's been a week since my birthday and I'm happy about that, too. The little party was mostly a band-aid on a gaping, brain-oozing head wound. Having nobody call me or really give a fuck about me on my actual birthday was like someone sticking their finger in the head wound and pulling some brains out. Seeing Spoon on Monday was like having someone stuffing some of the brains back and maybe throwing in a pat on the back for good measure. But then the brains sloooowly leaked out again all during the week...

So, yes. I saw Spoon with Road Trip Dale and Paul H. The band was good... not my favorite time seeing them (I think they intentionally left out a lot of my favorite older material just to make me sad) but they were still good. I had a few drinks and I realized how little it takes me to get tipsy anymore. I hardly ever drink. I'm not complaining... it's just weird.

On the way home from Columbus, we stopped at McDonald's and Paul H bought me a Happy Meal. I named my toy (some scary-looking ghetto fabulous doll) Road Trip Dale.

Tony and I were going to get married tomorrow but unfortunately court houses are CLOSED. Rats! Maybe Tuesday.

David is coming on Thursday! We're going to somebody's wedding in Detroit on Friday! Then we're hanging out on Saturday!

My 3-year old nephew has an eating disorder. Right, I also wasn't sure how a 3-year old could have an eating disorder but apparently he won't eat things that are certain textures and he's very brand conscious (and that one is totally all my sister). He eats bread, though, so the prognosis is good (your guess is as good as mine). He has to go for therapy three times a week. I'm sure there are some people who are suicidal and stuff that don't receive that kind of help... some 3-year old doesn't like how scrambled eggs feel on his tongue and will only eat certain brands of chicken nuggets and you'd think the world is falling apart.

Most random entry ever.

I keep a pair of little rubber pull-on boots outside of the door, on the deck. I usually clean stalls in them so they kind of stink... a good reason to leave them outside, no? I thought so until I put them on yesterday. I pulled one on without a problem and tried to pull the second one on, but something felt funny. I thought the sole/padding stuff at the bottom of the shoe was just wrinkled so I just wiggled my toe/foot around a bit and then I heard something go "glurp, glurp..." I freaked out and dropped the boot and out hopped the biggest toad I have EVER seen. I shrieked the famous shriek that is only reserved for things like poking a crayfish or when seagulls get a little too close when you're feeding them.

Did I mention that I finished my scarf? I have absolutely nothting to do now, except complicate my life further apparently. I have a few more ends to work in on the scarf before I take a picture of the final product to share with the world. I found out there are two Stitch 'N Bitch groups in the area... one that meets at a record store in Akron and one that meets at Capsule. I definitely want to start going to one or the other but I want to learn more than one stitch first. David assured me that the girls in the group would probably be accepting of me as a beginner knitter... I'm sure they would. But I just want to learn a bit more before I venture into public (although I have been seen knitting at Starbucks, as sad as that is! KIP!) for show and tell (or Stitch 'N Bitch).